Education jokes
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
Why are Americans such good marksmen?
Because they had plenty of schools to practice their shooting.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.