Education

Education Jokes

Word

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Donald Trump

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Priest

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Student

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Shooting

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

Trump

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Object

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

Act

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

Jew

Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,

Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.

Wordplay

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

Sex

My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!

Class

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Name

Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.

Name

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

Student

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Class

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."