What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
Gan cube prices?
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
