Cashew jokes
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
Curry.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰