Eating jokes
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.