Eating jokes
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.