Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
whats tha difference between boogers and brocley . kids wont eat the brocley.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
