Eating jokes
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.
I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.