What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
Eating Jokes
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I eat dick.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
I eat kids.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
