New Easiness Jokes

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?

Because it's an easy target.

How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.

You look easy to draw.

You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?