December jokes

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?

HO, HO, HO!

2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!

2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!

Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"

Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?

A: What.

As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.

Why was Santa Santa?

Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Which month is the bus? December.

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!