December jokes
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Which month is the bus? December.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Where do short people disappear on the first of December?
Santa's Workshop.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.