December jokes

Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

They're cool and chill.

Where do short people disappear on the first of December?

Santa's Workshop.

Which month is the bus? December.

What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl? HO, HO, HO!

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.

Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?

A: What.

Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?

Her sister is a real Dess-ember!

Why was Santa Santa?

Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂

A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

12/8?

2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!

2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!

Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"

Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.