The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy, It usually takes me days
You know I like my girls how I like my 9/11. Two twins that go down easy
Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan. What are they gonna do tell there mum
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion.
Q. What did Hitler give he's niece for her birthday A. An easy bake oven
Suicide is as easy as my ex wife
Easy! Peesy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
🧀:C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀:You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both easy to lay. Both costly and time consuming to get rid of. .... What did saint peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly ? Wipe that Merc of your face.
To everyone saying "don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying". Do you think we have it easy?? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared." "It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
What did hitler get for his 6th birth day???
A KEWsy burger and an easy bake oven
