Dont jokes

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

What type of phone do orphans have?

Android because they don't have a home button.

Why don't orphans go on trips at school?

Parent signature: _______________

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Awww, don't cry!

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

12, because fish don't drown.

One day, I'm going to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want a piece. She says, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You don't understand. I want a piece on my plate." She says, "You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!!

Later, I go to eat at the big restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fork. I tell her I wanted a fork. She tells me everyone wanna fuck. I say, "You don't understand, I want a fork on my table." She says, "You better not fuck on the table, you son of a bitch." I don't even know the lady, and she calls me a son of a bitch.

I don't need this shit!

So, I go back to my room in a hotel, and there are no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him I want a sheet. He tells me, go to the toilet. I say, "You don't understand, I want a sheet on my bed." He says, "You better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch."

I go to the checkout, and the man at the desk says, 'Peace on you.' I say, 'Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm going back to Italia. Arrivederci!'

I don't need this shit!

Moral of the story, don't go to Australia with a Korean accent.

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?

So they don't explode when you f*** them.

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?

Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.

Somebody shouts "Fire!"

Man 1: Get the children out!

Man 2: F*** the children!

Man 3: We don't have time!

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

Orphan: I love abcdefu!

Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.