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I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship… targeted companies include:

Kleenex Depenz Bicycle Helmet manufacturers Velcro Shoe manufacturers Steven Hawkings Publishers