Dont jokes
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
Barbie
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.