Dont jokes
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
I don't laugh at Trump.
I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
Why don’t butts ever win at cards?
Too many farts!
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?