Nude Jokes

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard

Women: “Men used to go to war now they go to clubs” Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked now it’s $3.99”

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes minded

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says: "Clothed Until Further Notice."

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!👍🏼👍🏼😂😂

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

I was stark nude. Hehe I was. I truly and sincerely was. The nurses giggled and said "Joseph, why the hell is your Weiner so loving". My penos purred and stroked there hands. I laughed and said. 'I do not know."

What happeneds when you search nudes on my phone? Nothing i dont have any

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here.

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

imogen savage will send you nudes @imogensav is her snap

What is better then hitting a booty? playing with the titties

Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!

( Btw I never actually did this irl yet)

So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why a made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying ) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.

I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!