Dont jokes
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.