Dont jokes
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
Why does this always happen to me...
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?
Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.