Doesnt jokes
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.