Without Jokes

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...

<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*

Now 14y.o. : Oh...

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.

it's not funny to joke about orphans, without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker? I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.