Doesnt jokes
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."