Attitude jokes

Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁

Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

Why do strippers never care about things?

Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

What do you call a short black person?

By their name, you racist!

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?