Attitude jokes
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
No, no, no, I am cool.
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
I am a motherfucker.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
I love not much.
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
Being mean.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.