Catholic priest jokes
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.