Absence

Absence jokes

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

Friend

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

  • 5
  • Memes

    Dad

    My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.

  • 9
  • Orphan

    Girl: "Come over."

    Orphan: "I can't."

    Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

    Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."

    Dinosaur

    Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

  • 3
  • Dad

    Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

    Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

  • 2
  • Orphan

    "Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."

    "No, not until their parents pick them up."

  • 9
  • Orphan

    Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.

    Dad

    What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

    Hookers come back.

  • 5
  • Orphan

    Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

    Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

  • 5
  • Dad

    What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

  • 4
  • Orphan

    Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    Leave

    When does a joke become a dad joke?

    When it leaves and never comes back.

  • 0