Doesnt jokes
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to heaven; Heaven comes to Chuck Norris. RIP.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
I feel this one on a personal level.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.