Denial jokes

I didn’t do that.

Nope, nope, and nope.

I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.

You're not my dad.

A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.

The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.

This is not a joke. This is not a joke.

No no no no no no!

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

No, I don't want to.

No.

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!