Doesnt jokes
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
Little Johnny walked to his parents' room. They were having sex, and Little Johnny didn’t know what that was, so he said, "What are y’all doing?"
The parents replied, "Umm, r-rapping presents!"
Little Johnny said, "Okay," and then left. In the morning, Little Johnny opened his presents. His parents said, "This one is from Santa!"
Little Johnny said, "No, it’s not, y’all said y’all were rapping the presents."
The parents said, "Ohh fuck!"
Little Johnny replied, "What, Mommy and Daddy?" They replied, "Oh, nothing!" "Oh, okay," Little Johnny said. The mom whispered in the dad's ear, "At least he doesn’t know the truth."
Little Johnny said, "What truth?"
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.