Parasite jokes

What do you call people from Paris?

Parasites.

Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?

A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

I'm ticked off by this tick joke!

what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?

alien vs predator

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."