Parasite jokes

What do you call people from Paris?

Parasites.

Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?

A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!

I'm ticked off by this tick joke!

what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?

alien vs predator

A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...