I'm a recovering cake addict.
Diet Jokes
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Fucking America my ass, INDIA FOR LIFE!!!! 💩🦶🍲🪔
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite food? A vegetable.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Your mama is so fat.
She went on a diet and solved world hunger!
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
