Diet jokes
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Fucking America my ass, INDIA FOR LIFE!!!! 💩🦶🍲🪔
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
I breathe in African food.
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"