Diet jokes
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
I'm a recovering cake addict.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite food? A vegetable.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.