Diet jokes
Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.