Diet jokes
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
I breathe in African food.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Finger food.