Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
What do yo get if you eat sugar. High
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard
But it’s a hearty meal
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
Why can't blind people have a sea food diet?
They have to see the food to eat
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country? A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
