Japanese jokes
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
I want that T-shirt
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub? Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.