Didnt jokes

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack!

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?