Didnt jokes
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.