Didnt jokes
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10