What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child? She rearranged all the furniture.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.
How did helen kellers parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it's all tongue and groove...
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: 'You might want to sit down for this.'
I like my couches like my I like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What's the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn't cry when I break it's legs
Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
What time is it when you walk in to the wall ? Time to get to bed 🛏
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Named my dog syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say “get Down syndrome”
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
