My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read "its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path." People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
On Xbox live an orphan can say they f ed your mom so you can say at least mine didnt die from it.
whats the difrence between hitler and you
one didnt keep posting on twiter about killing them selfs
whats the difference between a lambo and a boner
your sister didnt give me a lambo
So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.
SOMEONE:WHEN YOU SUFFER FROM DEPRRRESION AND SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO CHEER UP
ME:MY WHAT A GREAT IDEA WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT;)
Why didnt Logan Paul high five the asain man.....because he loves to leave asains hanging
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess" I said 215kg, he didnt find it as funny
I was driving with my parent and shouted its a super hero but i didnt know it was a emo kid
My Wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side So i crashed the car, then didnt talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason
why did the emo break up with her boyfriend
he didnt wanna hang out.
hellen threw up gang signs her whole life and didnt know
My fish died and i didnt do anything i just took my fish for a walk
i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.
what did the blind kid get for his birtday? Idk he still didnt look
I DIDNT FART MY ASS LIKES YOU SO MUCH IT JUST BLEW YOU A KISS!
Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy
