Didnt jokes
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Honestly
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...