Didnt jokes
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/