Didnt jokes
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Why didn't the orphan go home?
Because he didn't have a home.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?