Death jokes

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.

What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.