Death jokes
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)