Death jokes

Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.