Death jokes
My dog died.
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Well.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.