Death jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Memes
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.