Death jokes
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
The cemetery sure is overcrowded today.
I guess people are dying to get in.
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
Why did the depressed kid cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.