Death jokes

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.

What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?

The flowers actually get picked.

You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?

He pasta way!

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.