Death jokes

Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)

I remember my grandfather's last words:

"Are you holding the ladder?"

Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.

Who's the world's fastest reader?

9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.

What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?

"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."

What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?

1 baby on 10,000 trees.

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?

"Restore factory settings."

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

Beethoven composed his whole life.

What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.

Me die.

Guess whose parents didn't survive?

Liv's parents.

The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.