Death jokes
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
You die. LOL!
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.