Death jokes
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
My grandfather said I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.