Death jokes
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.
I guess the queen ran out of totems of undying.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?
The flowers actually get picked.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.