Death jokes

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Teacher: I am an orphan.

Students: Oof.

Teacher: Is there anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I got jealous when my phone died.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.