Death jokes

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

You die. LOL!

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to skull.

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

How did Steven Hawking die?

He blew a fuse doing an update.

Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

When your mum tells you to help your granny.

And you unplug life support!

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)