Death jokes

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?

He pasta way!

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

You die. LOL!

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!