Death jokes

Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

I killed my cat.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Not to see his parents.

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?

He pasta way!

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I got jealous when my phone died.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.