Death jokes
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...