Death jokes

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

I killed my cat.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Teacher: I am an orphan.

Students: Oof.

Teacher: Is there anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...

Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!