Death jokes

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

What did COVID say to the American?

Nothing, it just took its breath away...

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.