Death jokes

Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

How do skeletons get COVID?

From the coffin!

He got a paper cut and bled out.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

I guess the queen ran out of totems of undying.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Not to see his parents.

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

I killed my cat.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.

If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.