Death jokes
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...