Death jokes
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
These jokes make me want to die.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.