Death jokes
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?
They both have very little air to breathe.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.