Death jokes
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.