Death jokes
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."