Death jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.