Death jokes
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.