Death jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
hehehe
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”