Death jokes

Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?

Because he's always calling shotgun.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?

I don't have the Ferrari.

Someone dies.

Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

What hood do zombies come from?

Dead Ends.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.