How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Death Jokes
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
