Death jokes
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Memes
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.